(01:06:40 PM) Every: Also I still buy Apikale's theory that Death Note is a *really intensely roleplayed* game of Mafia with Ryuk as god
(01:07:14 PM) Tangent: o? :P
(01:07:23 PM) Every: She posted it on tumblr at one point
(01:08:01 PM) Every: Rem is Ryuk's little sister who thinks Misa is the bee's knees, and gets kicked out of the game when she cheats and reveals L as one of the Sheriffs.
(01:08:22 PM) Tangent: pfff
(01:10:32 PM) Every: L pegs Light in the first round, but has anxiety and refuses to risk it. Near, who is selected by Ryuk after L loses to keep the game from getting boring since there are still a lot of players, is more self-assured. Mello, on the other hand, selects people more or less randomly and ends up getting Soichiro, Matt, and Takada executed.
(01:10:47 PM) Every: And eventually everyone assumes he's Mafia because of his erratic picks.
(01:11:42 PM) Tangent: welp
(01:12:48 PM) Every: As the number of people in the game thin out, Near finally manages to convince everyone that Light and Mikami are the remaining Mafia, with Matsuda as the deciding vote for Light.
(01:15:35 PM) Every: Naomi figures it out before going to sleep, but makes an :O-face, and Light picks up on it and targets her that round.
(01:15:46 PM) Tangent: poor Naomi
(01:15:51 PM) Every: she deserved so much better
(01:21:05 PM) Every: Higuchi arc was a brief subgame everyone played because Ryuk enjoys throwing twists at people.
(01:26:27 PM) Every: L and Light are boyfriends, and so naturally Light roleplays out L's "death" in the most overdramatic possible way, before giving L the mother of all double birds the next round.
(01:28:50 PM) Every: L returns the favor when Light finally gets executed.
(01:54:48 PM) Every: Also Matsuda is the guardian angel.
(01:54:59 PM) Every: In the final round, he protects Near.
Ushering Rem out of the room, Ryuk returned to the prone circle. "Okay, so."
"Now what?" This was Matsuda. "She kind of just gave it all away."
"Yeah," L groused. "I was doing so well, too."
Misa huffed. "You were not. If it hadn't been for Rem you'd never have figured out me or-"
Ryuk coughed. "Hey, Misa? Maybe let's not give away the identity of the other killer just yet."
"Right. Anyway, I think we're going to let this round play out."
There were a couple muttered complaints, but Ryuk pressed on.
"We know the identity of the detective, but we also know the identity of one of the killers." Ryuk waggled a finger, not that anyone could see it. "So, killers, are you going to target L?"
There was a brief silence as they deliberated. Then Ryuk let out a chuckle. "Alright, killers, heads down. Guardian angel? ...Wow. Cold."
"Oh, come on!"
"L, you're already dead, shush up." Ryuk clapped his hands together. "Everyone, wake up!"
Everyone obeyed, L and Misa with identically disgruntled expressions. Light gave L's hand a quick squeeze, the other boy rolling his eyes.
"So." Ryuk's grin looked like it was attempting to declare independence from the rest of his face. "After a tipoff from a lesser god of death, L's real name was revealed."
"L *is* my real name."
"Yes, exactly. Nobody would ever expect it. Can I continue?"
"L's real name was revealed. Just as you arrive at your conclusions, L, you feel your heart...stop."
Ryuk flung his arms out, pointing dramatically down at L. "Die horribly!"
Light, next to him, jumped. On the other side, Near blinked once, giving no sign of reaction otherwise.
The spoon fell from L's hand. Ryuk muttered something about cleaning the carpets, and Misa kicked him in the shins.
"L! L, are you alright?" Light reached for L's shoulder, at the same time as L toppled sideways, sprawling across Light's lap. "L, no!"
"Hey! You're dead, dead people can't talk!"
Misa kicked Ryuk in the shins again.
"L!" Light clutched his boyfriend, rocking back and forth and nearly knocking over Matsuda as L attempted to hold in a giggle. Ryuk huffed.
"Could you two *be* any gayer?"
"Sure we could." Light leaned down, giving L a peck on the forehead.
"That's a corpse. You're making out with a corpse right n- OW!"
"Bold words from someone about to be executed as a killer!"